Survival, Melancholy & Mental Institutions: Part 1The aim of this and future articles is to inspire and give hope to those that deal with some form of despair. We all encounter ups outwell arizona outwell arizona l 3 man tent and down on our 'rollercoaster' ride of life. When I mention despair, I'm talking big time lows. Times when pain floods your mind and suicide seems the only option out. Earlier this year suicide seemed the only escape for me.
March 2012
I lived in the Australian outback, 3 hours from the clostow city. So it is safe to say there wasn't much to do compared with a city lifestyle. Most other 19 year olds were going clubbing or partying their weekends away after a long working week. outwell arizona For me, I would occasionally hit up the local pub with the same mates or just chill at someones house. Not the most exciting things in the world, but that was how it was. March was different though, not only was boredom driving me bonkers but my family that I was living with we're all having a ball in Bali. I had to remain behind for work. Everyday I'd come home after work to an oddly empty house, quiet and lonely. Now, I'm a big thinker, and I tend to over-think too much. Im not saying I had a bad adolescence, but I definitely had it rough. The details aren't important, but being alone on this particular work night seemed to put me into deep-thought mode and I turned to alcohol to drown the bad memories that kept cycling through my mind. After 10 cans of bourbon, and not being a big drinker previously, it is safe to say I was drunk. The world was spinning. Balance became extinct. My thoughts became cloudy. Still, these memories of my past. Due to my drunken state,the emotions I associated with these memories were dramatically enhanced.i outwell arizona couldn't bare it. The pain was unbearable, my sense of self-worth had disappeared. I needed to end it I thought. And that's when it struck me... Pills. I stumbled to the kitchen where the medication cupboard lay. I opened It. There was a box staring straight in my face, so after taking it I then made the stumble to my room. After collapsing in bed I examined the box of Panadol Rapid. I had heard that Panadol was used for plenty of suicides, so I popped out all the tablets of this almost-full box. Putting on some depressing music and cranking it up, I started swallowing all the pills. I lay down,resting comfortably and began the wait of what I expected would be a slow, painless death. That's when my music was interrupted. My ex-girlfriend was calling me. In habit, I answered, slurring my speech and answering her with brutal honesty. I don't remember the conversation but I can recall telling her what I had done. Thinking I was safe being so far away I hung up as darkness crept it's way into My already useless vision.
What felt like hours but only happened to be minutes, i heard a knock on the door. Instinctively I answered, and to my surprise two paramedics stood there, ambulance doors wide open. I later found out it was my ex who had called them , and in doing so I believe she saved my life.
God hadn't called me yet, after being treated in hospital and flown to the city for further examinations, I made a full recovery and walked out days later. After telling myself I'd never attempt suicide again, I moved on with my life. Little did I know that my life would be threatened even worse just days down the track, and my story of survival, despair and mental institutions was just beginning...
March 2012
I lived in the Australian outback, 3 hours from the clostow city. So it is safe to say there wasn't much to do compared with a city lifestyle. Most other 19 year olds were going clubbing or partying their weekends away after a long working week. outwell arizona For me, I would occasionally hit up the local pub with the same mates or just chill at someones house. Not the most exciting things in the world, but that was how it was. March was different though, not only was boredom driving me bonkers but my family that I was living with we're all having a ball in Bali. I had to remain behind for work. Everyday I'd come home after work to an oddly empty house, quiet and lonely. Now, I'm a big thinker, and I tend to over-think too much. Im not saying I had a bad adolescence, but I definitely had it rough. The details aren't important, but being alone on this particular work night seemed to put me into deep-thought mode and I turned to alcohol to drown the bad memories that kept cycling through my mind. After 10 cans of bourbon, and not being a big drinker previously, it is safe to say I was drunk. The world was spinning. Balance became extinct. My thoughts became cloudy. Still, these memories of my past. Due to my drunken state,the emotions I associated with these memories were dramatically enhanced.i outwell arizona couldn't bare it. The pain was unbearable, my sense of self-worth had disappeared. I needed to end it I thought. And that's when it struck me... Pills. I stumbled to the kitchen where the medication cupboard lay. I opened It. There was a box staring straight in my face, so after taking it I then made the stumble to my room. After collapsing in bed I examined the box of Panadol Rapid. I had heard that Panadol was used for plenty of suicides, so I popped out all the tablets of this almost-full box. Putting on some depressing music and cranking it up, I started swallowing all the pills. I lay down,resting comfortably and began the wait of what I expected would be a slow, painless death. That's when my music was interrupted. My ex-girlfriend was calling me. In habit, I answered, slurring my speech and answering her with brutal honesty. I don't remember the conversation but I can recall telling her what I had done. Thinking I was safe being so far away I hung up as darkness crept it's way into My already useless vision.
What felt like hours but only happened to be minutes, i heard a knock on the door. Instinctively I answered, and to my surprise two paramedics stood there, ambulance doors wide open. I later found out it was my ex who had called them , and in doing so I believe she saved my life.
God hadn't called me yet, after being treated in hospital and flown to the city for further examinations, I made a full recovery and walked out days later. After telling myself I'd never attempt suicide again, I moved on with my life. Little did I know that my life would be threatened even worse just days down the track, and my story of survival, despair and mental institutions was just beginning...